Coping with change can be really difficult. Personally, I’ve dealt with a lot of changes in the past 10 years of my life, and each time I still find it hard. Whether you’re aware that it’s coming or it hits you suddenly, big life changes can leave you feeling unsettled and unsure of yourself. They can make you question every small thing, and often leave you pining for the past.
When I was 22, my figure skating partner suddenly quit on me. It left me questioning my entire identity, which you can read about in this post. At 25, I moved to the Netherlands with my fiancé, then boyfriend. That threw me into a whole new way of life and a whole new culture. While in the Netherlands, I went through job loss twice. Most recently, I move back to the United States, which has been a huge adjustment.
Through all of this, I’ve learned some good (and not-so-good) ways of coping with change. Just this week, I’ve been personally working on some of these strategies in order to help myself better adjust to life in the US. Even though it’s been six months, I haven’t really felt settled or used to the American way of life. Hopefully, by sharing how I’m coping with change, I can help some of you deal with your own life changes.
Coping with Change
- Call a close friend – This one has always been hard for me to prioritize because I make excuses about having time. The truth is if you want to make time, you will. And calling a close friend can be one of the best ways of coping with change. Your friends want what’s best for you and will likely be able to help you focus on the positive. Or just listen to you vent!
- Journal – I’ve known about The Five Minute Journal for a while, but never paid any attention to it. Just last week, I ordered the journal and have started using it religiously. It’s amazing how two minutes in the morning to focus on things you’re grateful for can change your mindset. I especially love the “what would make today great” section that allows me to focus on three attainable things that would make my day better. In fact, I’m writing this blog post as part of today’s list.
- Listen to a positive podcast – Whenever I find myself struggling, I listen to The Happiness Lab. Most recently, the episode on working to live really resonated with me. Even if you don’t implement any of the strategies in the podcast, it can be helpful to hear others acknowledge they’re having the same issues.
- Don’t focus on the past – I struggle the most with this one, especially following our move to the US. It can be so tempting to focus on how everything before the change was so much better. But that will only make it harder for you to accept the change and move forward. Take a moment to recognize that you’re putting too much emphasis on the past and then shift your focus to something positive in the present. Even if it’s something tiny, like the sunshine on your face, over time you’ll feel more positive.
- Carve out time to do what you love – A great way of coping with change is to put your energy into a new or old skill. Perhaps you used to paint but haven’t touched a brush in a while. When life throws you a big change, it’s a good time to get back into a hobby you loved. You can also consider something new. Lately, I’ve been toying with the idea of getting my wine certification. It would give me some structure to attend in-person classes and would force me to focus on learning a new skill.
- Practice self-care – This can take the form of an extra cozy bubble bath or taking a few minutes for a face mask. It can also take the form of meditation or an extra hour of sleep. The biggest thing is that you recognize that it’s hard for your body and mind to go through change. It’s ok to treat yourself well during this period of instability.
No matter which way you decide to cope with change, go easy on yourself and feel free to let yourself grieve. Just don’t let yourself get caught wallowing for too long. Over time, simple, small things can add up to an overall mindset shift. Trust me, I’m in this one with you. Let me know what changes you’re going through and which strategy for coping with change you’ll be trying next.
Xx, Kelsey
Loved this one 🙂 and I’m always here if you need a call!