IT’S BEEN A YEAR. And yes, I mean that in both the literal and figurative sense. One year ago today, the Netherlands went into full lockdown. Just a few days after covid-19 was declared a pandemic, the Netherlands shut down restaurants and bars, schools, offices, and gyms.
I remember feeling pretty optimistic a year ago as the world shut down, thinking we’d stay inside and order takeout for a few weeks. I was sure we’d be traveling again in a month and life would return to normal. At the same time, I remember the fear and the stress. Things were so uncertain. We knew so little about where a year of the pandemic would take us.
Over the past few days, I’ve been feeling this real sense of loss. A lot has happened over the last year of the pandemic, yet it still feels like we lost a year. We lost holidays, birthdays, travel, family, jobs, a sense of freedom, peace of mind. There are so many things I’ve come to miss over the past year. I miss my parents who live in Australia. I will be lucky to see them this Christmas pending they’re allowed to leave the country. I miss my siblings who I’m only able to connect with digitally. The same goes for the friends I used to see regularly on trips back to the United States. I miss going out to eat, being in a crowd without feeling panicked, meeting new people, and seeing smiles not hidden by masks.
While the list of things I miss grows, I also have to think about all I’ve gained in the past year of the pandemic. Jon and I moved into a new apartment to feel more comfortable with our lockdown lifestyle. We adopted Jolene who is sleeping on the floor to my left as I write this. I lost a job I loved and gained a new one that I wouldn’t have been able to do without the pandemic shift to remote work. We managed to squeeze in two trips during the summer that we were even more grateful for.
I can’t even express how much I am looking forward to our return to “normal” once the world is vaccinated. But I’m also aware that this will take time. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the past year of the pandemic is that everything takes longer than you’d think. It will be a while before we can safely travel to visit our family, explore Europe, or go work in an office again.
Until then, I’ll be hanging onto the hope for the future, stocking up on dresses to wear when we can finally go out again and saving money for all the trips I’m going to take. My goal today on the anniversary of our first lockdown is to focus on the gains of the past year and not the losses. I encourage you to try and do the same.
Xx, Kelsey
